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America depresses me, a.k.a. my future is screwed.

22 April 2009
Amherst... in my dreams.

Amherst... in my dreams.

This morning, representatives from Wellesley, Yale, Duke and the University of Chicago visited our school for a short (hour-ish) college talk. And, despite the fact that each of those four women delivered such enticing presentations (the notable Wellesley alumni, the major Yale library pimpage, the Duke campus’ enormity, the fact that UC is so damn perfect) I left that room with disappointment and the slightest hints of depression.

I had a short chat with Isabel Gomez, the quirky, personable woman who talked about the University of Chicago, who basically told me that because of my status as a need-desperate international student, then the University of Chicago wouldn’t be a target school, but rather, it would be a reach, because UC is only need-blind to US citizens, and it is need-aware to internationals. And that from 25% my chances of getting in would be reduced to a meek 5%. Yuck. Depression. Need. Need. Money. Aid. Where the hell am I going to get $150,000? FROWN.

Aid. I hate the thought of aid. Because I can never, ever, afford to go to to college in the US. Not unless I get into one of those really big schools. The Ivys, or those top LACs. Basically — schools that, at this rate, I have pretty much NO CHANCE of getting into.

At this point in time, these are the US colleges on my list: Williams (REACH), Amherst (REACH), Middlebury (REACH), Carleton (TARGET but pretty much a reach as well cos of the whole AID question… only six full scholarships), Bryn Mawr andor Mt. Holyoke (the aid thing is still a thing of question), Colby, Emmanuel… and I’m even considering a fourth reach of an Ivy League (but maybe not, since my Harvard/Yale/Dartmouth/Brown/Columbia dreams are pretty much down the wash by now).

With a C in Math, a mediocre PSAT score and less-than-zero standout accomplishments to date, my chances are pretty much as fried as my brain (from distractions, not from toxic substances, duh).

So the goal for next year is to pimp my profile, so I’m not doomed for my life.

God help me.

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