Posts Tagged ‘college’


I’m not sorry there’s nothing to save.

16 January 2010

Today, something beautiful happened. I found myself in contact with a rather speedy cable internet connection and decided to sort of ‘seize the day’ and just have at it, and so I downloaded Vuze and downloaded more within two hours than I did in the last two months combined. I finally got The Fame Monster, the New Moon soundtrack, the Where the Wild Things Are soundtrack, the new Vampire Weekend album Contra, the Ke$ha album (which was for my sister, really), both Glee compilations, a Neon Indian album, and Zombieland is still downloading as I type. And it feels beautiful to be doing this right now. I promise to delete everything one day and rebuild my library legally, but this is all I can manage for now. Besides, it’s not like the big music executives are going bankrupt or anything.

Anyway, this downloading process occurred simultaneously with insane Facebooking and microblogging to an extent that I haven’t quite done since early October, during the last days of our home DSL connection. During this time I also managed to go on the Canon and Nikon websites to check out potential cameras for when I finally raise enough funds. For this same reason I also went on the Apple site and ‘built my own Macbook Pro’, which costs about $2,600 with all the added upgrades. I really do love looking up potential material possessions. Though such habits only reflect on me negatively as they exhibit my lust for worldly things, we only live once, and living only once renders our lives insignificant. Einmal est keinmal.

And, while on all these different site, getting myself excited for series four of Skins (which comes out on the 28th — I am so excited!) and reading through missed posts on Hipster Runoff, I realised that I haven’t really made a decent blog post in a very long time. This is why I am making this entry now.

Since the last time I wrote a decent post, some things have changed. I have reverted back to the status of she who does not like anyone right now, which is a good break from the last semester, which has been pretty much useless aside from the fact that I now know that not everyone who you think is your friend really is. I don’t miss the company that I used to have last year, at least not anymore, after realising that there are so many other people who are much better. Really, there’s nothing great in surrounding yourself with negative company. I try to be surrounded by positive people who are also smart and hip and cool. 

I still love typography and wish to learn as much about it as possible, but I have to focus on the second semester. SATs are next week, I have to fill out my high school resume and come up with a list of thirty schools for my guidance counselor, I still have to decide whether or not to watch American Idol this season, and I’m beginning to wonder why Noah Cyrus is becoming culturally relevant because she looks thirty years old and is just plain weird. Also, I have a shitload to do for Monday, all of which will be postponed for tomorrow night since I’m currently in my grandparents’ house which, unlike my house, has cable TV, cable internet, and a working air conditioner. And a hot shower! One day I plan on owning this house and converting the shed in the backyard into an art studio. Oh yeah, I want to do art now. And be an artist. It would be quite nice.

More later on.



America depresses me, a.k.a. my future is screwed.

22 April 2009
Amherst... in my dreams.

Amherst... in my dreams.

This morning, representatives from Wellesley, Yale, Duke and the University of Chicago visited our school for a short (hour-ish) college talk. And, despite the fact that each of those four women delivered such enticing presentations (the notable Wellesley alumni, the major Yale library pimpage, the Duke campus’ enormity, the fact that UC is so damn perfect) I left that room with disappointment and the slightest hints of depression.

I had a short chat with Isabel Gomez, the quirky, personable woman who talked about the University of Chicago, who basically told me that because of my status as a need-desperate international student, then the University of Chicago wouldn’t be a target school, but rather, it would be a reach, because UC is only need-blind to US citizens, and it is need-aware to internationals. And that from 25% my chances of getting in would be reduced to a meek 5%. Yuck. Depression. Need. Need. Money. Aid. Where the hell am I going to get $150,000? FROWN.

Aid. I hate the thought of aid. Because I can never, ever, afford to go to to college in the US. Not unless I get into one of those really big schools. The Ivys, or those top LACs. Basically — schools that, at this rate, I have pretty much NO CHANCE of getting into.

At this point in time, these are the US colleges on my list: Williams (REACH), Amherst (REACH), Middlebury (REACH), Carleton (TARGET but pretty much a reach as well cos of the whole AID question… only six full scholarships), Bryn Mawr andor Mt. Holyoke (the aid thing is still a thing of question), Colby, Emmanuel… and I’m even considering a fourth reach of an Ivy League (but maybe not, since my Harvard/Yale/Dartmouth/Brown/Columbia dreams are pretty much down the wash by now).

With a C in Math, a mediocre PSAT score and less-than-zero standout accomplishments to date, my chances are pretty much as fried as my brain (from distractions, not from toxic substances, duh).

So the goal for next year is to pimp my profile, so I’m not doomed for my life.

God help me.